PAPA said there'd be days like this.

I think we all know what's been going on this week. This will be a short post. 

We are under attack, and no, it's not fair.

We are called hateful. 

We are called bigots. (Ironic, huh?)

I'll be honest: I can get angry about this kind of thing really quick. Getting angry and defensive is something that's easy to do these days but that's not right either. 

God never promised things would be easy for us. He pretty much said the opposite. 

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours. But all these things they will do to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me. "(John 15:18-21 ESV)

 

"Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted."

(2 Timothy 3:12 ESV)

What now?

Here's my humble opinion:

Stay strong in your love for God. We don't need to compromise, but we don't need to fight. We are commanded to love others- INCLUDING those who disagree with our beliefs and/or maybe do not seem so 'lovable' right now. Ask God for help with this! Put on love! Make the choice to lower your fists and bite your tongue. Ask God for the wisdom to know when to speak and when to keep silent.

 

"Remind them of these things, and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers." (2 Timothy 2:14 ESV)

 

Support what you support, but stop arguing.

 

Pray for our spiritual family. Pray for strength, comfort, guidance, peace, and wisdom for starters.

Pray without ceasing. These days aren't gonna get any better. That's the fact, Jack.

 

It's easy for me to get wrapped up in how unfair everything is...I love my Lord! I want to fight for Him! How many people are we turning away from God by doing so? Are we doing what we're supposed to and living in such a way that points to God and makes Him look good???

 

While thinking on recent events today and feeling myself getting worked up and frustrated, I felt comfort from The Lord:

 

"Lauren, you don't need to fight. I've already won."

 

God is for us.

 

Love Love Love,

Lauren

Pay it Forward.

This is one of my favorite times of day: Jude is taking a good nap and I am able to read, pray, and basically just spend time with my Heavenly Father. As I'm audibly praying (sometimes the only way I can focus is to pray out loud!), I'm recalling specific prayer requests from family and loved ones, and more and more people come to mind. Finally, I found myself exclaiming,

"Wow. A lot of people are hurting."

I know people that...

• have had miscarriages and are struggling to cope and/or conceive again.
• are dealing with the loss of a loved one, saved or unsaved.
• have loved ones that are dealing with life-threatening conditions.
• are in a constant state of worry due to financial or job instability, relationship issues, or any/all of the above.
• have family members or friends that are making poor decisions involving drugs or alcohol abuse.
• are going through an unwanted divorce.

When I think of the specific people in my life that fall into one or more of those categories, I'm overwhelmed. The worry, pain, rejection, instability, etc. these people must be feeling is unimaginable. I can empathize with a few, but Jude hasn't ever had anything worse than minor tummy issues or a cold! People who've had to and continue to endure much more serious issues involving their children leave me so humbled and speechless. At the same time, their strength in the Lord is so admirable and inspiring. God bless you. I mean that sincerely.

When I hear of people hurting, I want to help! I'm just 'me' though. I know I can't fix every problem or even alleviate every (or any) stressor in someone's life. Sometimes problems seem so big I just don't know what else to do but pray. Now, there's nothing wrong with 'just' praying- prayer is so powerful!!! I have to wonder sometimes, though; could I be doing more?

Sometimes, do we get so wrapped up in our own lives that we miss out on opportunities to help one another or even brighten up someone's day? Guilty! There are days when I am so wrapped up in my own thoughts or issues that I'm ashamed to say that my prayers or actions do not always involve other people. I have a natural tendency to be introverted as well so I don't reach out to others nearly as much as I should. I need to push myself out of this cozy little seat for one.

A personal story: Yesterday was a rough day. I'm a stay at home mom, it's winter and FREEZING cold outside, and my son has some sort of stomach bug that leaves me worrying and in need of my own personal Stanley Steamer attendant. A combination of cabin fever and the fact that my little man thought it was "No Nap Tuesday" or something made me very cross. I got to the point of tears by the end of the afternoon. It was just a struggling mommy day (I know every mommy deals with one on a regular basis). I reached out to my facebook page for some encouragement. I've got to say, I have some wonderful mommy friends. I was honestly surprised at the kind words that people wrote me! It was sort of a little virtual 'hug' and it turned the rest of my day around. The situation didn't change, but my heart was now lifted and I was filled with the love that others had given to me and was then able to 'pay it forward'.

Think about it: how many times has a simple text message turned your day around? Good or bad?

Someone told me a long time ago that when someone pops into your mind randomly, it in fact, is not random at all. It's God putting that person on your mind for whatever reason. When that happens to me, I try to stop and pray for that person or send them an encouraging text. I'm not always consistent, but I try to be.

If you knew that by making a quick phone call, sending a text, praying, or visiting someone that popped in your mind 'randomly', you'd be encouraging them...would you step out of your own 'stuff' or comfort zone to do so?

I don't know about you, but sometimes "I get by with a little help from my friends:)".

There are many verses in the Bible that say to "build one another up" or "encourage one another" but I'm just going to focus on one right now because I love how The Message translation puts it:

Hebrews 10:24-25 (English Standard Version) "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

Here's why I love The Message's translation:

"Let's see how inventive we can be in

encouraging love and helping out..."

I love that! "how inventive"? Brilliant. It's such a fun way to put it...and isn't the joy you feel by helping others way better than the joy you may get from just helping yourself?

Slight rabbit trail: I love our small group at our church. The man who leads it is constantly reminding us to try to encourage the other members of our group throughout the week. I try and take that challenge to heart.

So now, I pose that challenge to you, reader.

Who can you encourage this week? How can you encourage people that come into your mind?

Maybe pick a number: set it in your mind to encourage at least 2, 5, 10 (or however many) people during your week. It'll be fun:)!!!!

In closing, I just also want to say that I do not mean to downplay the importance of prayer. Prayer is the most important thing we can do for the people that we love.

It isn't up to us to fix anything. Just to love and encourage. No pressure :).

Thank you for reading,
Lauren

Work in Progress

I remember the first time I ever felt like crap. Not ill. Just life-altering, honest-to-goodness crap. I was around age 12 and a teacher told my parents and I that none of the other kids in my class liked me at all. I was apparently too mean (in hindsight, I think I was socially awkward with a side of clueless rude and the teacher may not have been entirely honest). This was right before my family and I took a vacation. When we got back and I had to return to school, the damage was done. I was paralyzed. I didn't know how to act! I was told everyone hated me. I'd never felt so worthless and alone. This was the first incident....there have been more. Many more.

I've been called fat, ugly, stupid, worthless, weird, and other words I refuse to type. I've been told I'm not good enough more times than I can count. I was told I wasn't a good enough daughter (EDIT: this was NOT by my parents) or Christian. I've even heard, "I think we've been growing apart. Let's not be friends anymore." and "Go kill yourself". After a while the words became the norm. I accepted them as the definition of Lauren. They had to be true.

In high school I thought my worth would be found in friends or a boyfriend. I hid struggles and sadness because in my life I'd also consistently been told that 'nobody likes someone who has so many problems...you're just too sad all the time.' I tried to project a confident image and I put all of my efforts into feeling confident through my looks. I was tan, had cute blonde highlights, clothes from American Eagle (sooo important *eyeroll*), and I was skinny and always called myself fat (the trendy thing to do). As much as I hate to admit that stuff, this is what I'm more ashamed of: when I felt extra insecure, I hid behind the mask of 'Snob'. When times got tough, I could be a 'mean girl'. Ugh, so disgusted by that. I wanted everyone to think I was beautiful and had no problems so I'd be attractive to them. I've recently started reading a book and this sentence rang true to a fault:

"The more careful we are about what we're projecting, the more driven we tend to be by fear."

So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore

That's the truth! I was terrified of people not liking me. I wanted to feel important! I wanted the 'definition of Lauren' to be disproved.

Now, here I am, almost 10 years later, and I still default to that 'definition' of me. Not in like a 'woe is me' kind of way, I just accept it as factual. I'm guarded. I assume nobody thinks of me or considers me. No one is interested in what's going on in my life. Do people actually care? When I feel as though the answer could be 'no', I subconsciously pull away. I'd rather quit than be quit on. Here's the kicker: Now I'm actually  overweight and it's trendy to look like a bikini model after having a baby, haha.

I struggle with confidence in appearance and in relationships. When it all boils down, I struggle with self worth.

Can anybody identify with this struggle a bit?

Why have I been failing so miserably at this for so long??? The answer is one any kindergarten Sunday school student can tell you: God!

I said it in my last post about marriage but I'll say it again: if you're looking for your worth in yourself, others, accomplishments, or things of this world, you will NEVER be happy. If you are thinking, "I'd feel so much more confident if I had:

-a great husband

- financial success

- popularity

- youthfulness

- beauty

- power

- prestige

- credentials

- job security,"

(list also from So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore)



you are also fooling yourself. These things may help for a while, but real security and confidence will never be found in these things and you will ultimately be left feeling unfulfilled.

I've been so wounded and unsatisfied for so long and I don't want to do things my own way anymore. I can tear myself down better than anyone else could. Why did I think I could make myself feel better?

This might seem like a rabbit trail but stay with me, there is a connection :).

I'm also reading a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. The latest chapter I read was a slap you in the face look at lukewarm Christianity. Let's put it this way: you're either in or your out.

Does this also tie into my confidence issues? Maybe I'm wrong here (I'm definitely willing to be wrong), but I kind of came to the conclusion for myself that if I'm seeking God for 45% of my security, financial stability for 25%, and love of others for 30% (or any number of other things), is that kind of being lukewarm? Also, does that not leave me ultimately only 45% secure?

I want to find 100% of my security in God. But what does that look like? How do I start? This is where I'd love feedback and prayer.

I just want to add this disclaimer: I do not believe that having total confidence and security in the Lord means you don't have to do anything for yourself: i.e. if you struggle in relationships, don't lock yourself in a room with your Bible for your whole life and tell yourself that God is the only person you need to talk to. I'm fairly certain God wouldn't want that for your life:). Or if you struggle with accepting your physical appearance, I'm pretty sure God wouldn't want you to say, "oh well! I've got God!" and just eat fast food and lay on the couch forever.

I think the emphasis needs to be put on what God thinks of us. Where do we find that? (kindergarten answer ;D) The Bible!

Now, I'm a list-maker. It helps me consolidate information so that I can really meditate and remember. Also, with grocery lists and lists of the sort, I get satisfaction from crossing stuff out, but that's neither here nor there.....

I would like to start a list right here of verses that speak of what God thinks of us and how valuable we are to Him.

Another disclaimer: I know that God is perfect and hates our sin. That isn't my point right now but at the same time I'm not intending on refuting that either. Just felt the need to say that.

Here's a few I've found so far that have been a comfort to me, if you've got more to add, please do so!

(all verses are in the English Standard Version)

Psalm 139:14 "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."

--- This verse may sound cliché; everyone knows this one. Sometimes verses are heard so much the words just become words. Really think on them right now.



Ephesians 2:10 "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

Psalm 139:1-4 "O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether."
---How amazing is that??? The Creator of the universe, the Savior of mankind knows YOU better than you even know yourself.

Colossians 2:13-14 "And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross."
---God sent his son to die in our place. We were guilty: hands down. Jesus paid the price and took the punishment in our place. That brings me to tears... I feel so loved.

1 Samuel 16:7 "But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."
---It's so comforting to know that there isn't a physical standard for God. It's also intimidating knowing God can see every little thing in our hearts.

2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."
---Insecurities can come from past mistakes. Isn't it so comforting to know that God makes us BRAND NEW?????

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
---God can help us defeat insecurity and leave it dead in its tracks. And He will STRENGTHEN us in the process :).

I'm going to claim these verses and hopefully when I'm tempted to define myself as something other than what they say, the negative thoughts will be shut out.

Someone once told me that being open and honest about things you've struggled with can open you up to be able to help someone else. Pretending to be 'perfect' and 'problem free' doesn't help anyone. Sometimes God gives us our trials to prepare us to help others that will face the same thing.

I want to serve the Lord. I also want to point others to Him.

In closing, I'd just like to reinforce the following:

Thank you so much.

Lauren

Here goes nothing...

 This topic has been burned in my heart/mind/soul/thoughts for quite some time now. This topic is the reason I felt led to start up this blog. This topic could offend some. I assure you-that is not my intention. This topic is a passion of mine and I cannot and will not keep quiet on it any longer.
What on earth is happening to Christian marriages?

I hate seeing people break up; in movies, tv, or real life. I'm still not over the whole Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt thing. I don't think anyone enjoys breakups...they hurt...that's why the word 'break' is in them. My heart aches when I see people I know and love (specifically fellow believers) deciding to end their marriage. My heart has been aching a lot lately.

What is happening? Why are people just giving up??? I'm not talking about people in abusive or dangerous relationships, I'm talking about the people who it seems that when it all boils down, they 'just don't feel like it' any more.

This is something that I came across on pinterest. I think it says a lot:

 

That's not love.
That's infatuation and lust.

Are we so conditioned by movies and television to believe that it isn't love unless it feels like a romantic comedy?
I'm so sorry to blow the lid of a few myths that are out there but I'm still gonna do it:

Noah and Allie (The Notebook) are not real.
Samantha Baker and Jake Ryan (Sixteen Candles) are not real.
Jack and Rose (Titanic) are sooo not real.
And as much as it pains me to admit, Jim and Pam (The Office) are not real.
Those couples are just a few of thousands that people *sigh* over and wish that their current relationship could emulate that kind of 'love'. Their situations are not real. The romance they experience is to sell tickets or hook viewers. It isn't love.

Love is a military wife taking care of her husband after he's been terribly injured in the line of duty.
Love is getting up in the middle of the night taking care of a puking, feverish child.
Love is forgetting your own wants and needs and putting someone else first.
Love is getting that terribly unhealthy treat at the grocery store because you know it'll make your significant other smile.
Love is sticking it out when funds are low and tensions are high.
Love is listening to someone. Maybe not even speaking. Just listening.
I could go on, but 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says it perfectly:

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Another verse I'd like to point out is Colossians 3:14 "And above these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." Some days, it's easy to love others, other days, it most definitely is not easy. That is why we are told to put on love. It is a choice. Not just with our spouses, with everyone.

Do not get me wrong: I am not saying that love has to be mundane/ordinary/and just plain no fun. Any marriage can be overflowing with joy. The key ingredient is God. Seeking to put God first in your life will never be something you'll regret.

Some people have probably been in an unsatisfying relationship for a long time. I've seen people leave their spouses because they weren't feeling fulfilled and they needed to pursue what was best for them and their happiness/health/creativity/whatever. Or maybe they just decided that the person they thought was "the one" suddenly didn't feel like "the one" anymore so they now must find a new "the one".
Here's where I get a little blunt.
Two things:
1. If you are seeking to feel satisfied and fulfilled and the only place you are looking is inside yourself or in the flawed superficial world around you, you will be searching and feeling unsatisfied for the rest of your life. We are not put on this earth because we are super cool and the world needed us, we were put on this earth to serve and glorify our Savior and Creator. This is HIS movie, we are extras in the background that are only on screen for 1/8 of a second...if even that long. (Read the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan)
2. The idea of "the one" is so flawed its ridiculous. Believers, if you married him/her, he/she became "the one". Hands down. Trust me, you're not going to feel singing-with-woodland-creatures/dancing-on-furniture in love every second of every day of your marriage. Some days are facepalm-take-a-hot-bath/ go-tinker-in-the-garage-for-a-while days.

I think as a society it has become all too acceptable to quit something that isn't exactly what was hoped for. Leaving marriage for such trivial reasons is a bit like quitting school because nobody spontaneously broke out into song every ten minutes. Marriage takes work! Sometimes problems can't be solved in a half-hour time slot.

I know that there are some of you out there whose marriages are truly struggling. I absolutely do not mean to make light of that. I totally can empathize. I implore you, if you aren't at a place where you even want to try to 'put on love' to your spouse, talk to God. Dedicate (or rededicate) your life to God and He will do things you never even thought possible :)!!! Having a good relationship with God is the foundation for everything. Not just marriage. LIFE...life more abundant at that! I had to come to this point in my life/our marriage not too long ago.
Two years ago, at this exact time of year, Drew and I were separated.  God did things during our separation that can only be described as miraculous!!! Before this separation came though, things needed to change. I had to fight for my marriage.  My first step was to grow in my relationship with God. I reached out to godly women I knew for encouragement and advice. I also got some good reading material on the subject of marriage. Reading the Bible and drawing nearer to God saved my life and saved our marriage. I can't say it enough: God changed everything. If you or anyone you know needs someone to help, recommend some good reading material, provide encouragement, or even just listen, seriously, I'd be more than happy to help however I can. I can't fix everything, but I know of a Great Physician that is in the business of changing/healing hearts and lives. (Jesus:D!!!)

Drew and I recently took a class that was offered at our church called The Art of Marriage. (If you've got the opportunity to take it, I highly recommend it!!! Such great material, such great conversations.) There were videos that went along with each lesson that had real couples sharing their marriage story. One couple in particular stood out: a couple who was set to divorce and decided to try marriage counseling. The husband desperately wanted to save his marriage and had turned his life over to God and it changed him in such a wonderful way. The wife was a Christian as well, but she was just 'over it'. She said the only reason she even agreed to go to counseling was so that she could say she went, but it still just didn't work out. In one of their counseling sessions, their pastor asked her, "Do you believe that Christ died on the cross to save you from your sins, and rose three days later?" She said, "Well, yes." The pastor replied, "But you don't think He can save your marriage?"

Believer, God created marriage to be a beautiful thing. I could write a million (imperfect!) blog entries on this subject, but for now, I leave you with this personal proof:

If God could not save marriages, Drew and I would long be broken up, and this beautiful proof that miracles do happen would not exist:

 

Baby Jude <3

 

 

Thank you so much for bearing with me on this :).

Love,

Lauren

Philippians 1:20

"as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death."

We've got a problem. I'VE got problems. I can't keep biting my tongue...and I don't think I should be anymore. I feel like I've been called for a purpose. I don't exactly know what that is or what it looks like yet, but for a while now, I've felt that God was trying to tell me something...telling me to write. Telling me to use my 'voice' for a purpose that I don't even fully know yet (and possibly never will). So here I am, and I've got a lot to say. So now I'd like to make it official: I'm coming out of the spiritual closet.

I am a Christian.

What even qualifies me to be writing a blog about God??? To be honest, I've got a computer and I know how to type. End of resume.

Am I some super amazing perfect woman? No, and I never will be. But I want to strive to be holy and to follow what God has for me. I am someone who has learned so many lessons the hard way. I'm stubborn, angry, and selfish. At the same time, I feel as though the lessons I've learned enable me to possibly come along side of a friend and help them thru a difficult situation. You name it, I've probably dealt with it: from addiction, marriage struggles, eating disorders, death of loved ones, to various sin issues. Bottom line: I have a lot of love to give, and I love helping people. I'm a good listener, I will keep things told to me to myself, and I try my best to be a giving friend.

Do I have an academic qualifications? Well, no. See, on paper, to the world, I'm not really worth much. What's beautiful/humbling/comforting about God is that He doesn't require a degree or a Mensa member IQ to follow Him. Quite lucky for me:). I went to a Christian school K-12 and then attended a Bible college for one year and chose to not go back and complete my degree. I do not have a degree in English or writing or anything of the sort. The only degree I received in college was my Child Development Associates Degree (which has since expired).

In short, I'm a stay at home mom, super flawed woman who just happens to have a computer and feels called to write. Still reading? Thank you:).

What am I hoping to achieve? Fame? Notoriety? Nope!
I am hoping that this will enable me to reach out to others in a way I never thought possible. I want to help point others to Christ and show them how wonderful a Savior we serve! I am also hoping that this will be a tool for myself in my own spiritual walk. I want to learn and grow from this. I want to dive into Gods word and see things from His perspective. I'm thirsty for more!!! I am so excited to see what God has to show me thru this.

This isn't going to be a 'fire and brimstone; you're a filthy sinner going to hell' kind of thing. I want to love and encourage. There are enough "Christians" out there promoting hate.

I know this will be a challenge in many ways. I am starting this with the goal of writing at least once a week. Accountability would be welcome:)! Topic suggestions would be welcome as well:)! I know that speaking on this isn't necessarily popular and could set me up to lose some friends or to be criticized. That is something that is scary and overwhelming but I have to be ok with it. *Deep Breath*

The blog is called PARRESIA- my new favorite word (and possibly tattoo one day, haha!). Parresia is a Greek word that is found in the New Testament that is often used to describe the attitude that the disciples of Christ should have in sharing the gospel with others. It means "courage" "confidence" "boldness" "assurance" "fearless public speaking" etc. I would greatly appreciate prayer and encouragement in this new endeavor.

I want to become bold. God has done so much for me. How much more can I give Him?

If you have any questions, please ask them! I want this to be interactive! POSITIVE and interactive:). Also, if you've got stories of blessings or things that God has done in your life, please please PLEASE share them! My favorite things ever online are those "Restored Faith in Humanity" stories and photos. God has done some amazing things in my life and I plan to share them and I'd LOVE to hear things like that from you.

Thank you so much.
Lauren